Category Archives: parenting

Dear Mom Judging Me on the Playground….

  By Kristina | April 9, 2013 - 2:29 am | , ,
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My response to this letter http://4littlefergusons.wordpress.com/2012/11/14/dear-mom-on-the-iphone/

Dear Mom Judging me on the Playground,

I get your whole life is short, enjoy the kids, live in the moment bit. I really do. That’s why I chose to give up a job I LOVED to stay at home with my tiny tots. However, when you see me chatting with a friend, talking on my phone or messing with my phone (if I had a smart phone!), don’t be so quick to judge me.

I’ve spent most of the past 6 years with my children from sun up to sun down. Yes, occasionally they are cared for by someone else, a few hours, maybe once a week at most. Other then when they are sleeping I see their every waking moment.

My daughter running around like a crazy kid and twirling in one of her beloved tutus? Yes, I know she’s turning into a little girl and not so much a baby anymore. I’ve also seen her prance around in her tutu all morning. Make that all yesterday as well as she refused to take it off at bedtime. I also know exactly where her lovey is right now, where she set him so she could spin around and where she probably won’t remember to look when she realizes he’s missing.

My eldest, my little boy, who is such a funny kid, yes, we have played all morning together. I saw him slide down the stairs, like he’s not supposed to, this morning when he said watch me! I also have watched him do 1,000 other things legal and not this morning. All adorable in their own right. We also have discussed the weather, made up songs to the tune of “Jesus Loves Me” that he likes to sing as additional verses and I’ve praised him many times on his handwriting exercises and reading.

The baby, well, considering all she does is sleep most of the day still, she’s enjoying her time being snuggled up in her stretchy wrap next to me as usual. I can’t tell you the last time she let me put her down or hand her over to daddy for a few minutes.

Yes, I know play time at the park will be over soon, and I should soak up every moment, but once I call time to go home, I’m back to constantly being on the clock without a break until they go to sleep once more.

Speaking of sleep and spending time with my darlings, did you know that last night I was up most of the night with my toddler who had a nightmare? She wouldn’t go back to sleep in her bed so she came into ours. Considering the fact that the baby is plastered to me constantly meant I got no sleep last night for fear that I’d smoosh one of them? Four in a bed is a tight fit.

Did you know that for the past few days my husband was working pretty much all day, so I was without the help I usually get during the late afternoons and evening? I know single parents do this constantly…not sure how they do it, its been rough! The rare times he is busy, he’s super busy and some days barely gets to see the kids awake. Those days are hard. Those days I get no break.

I haven’t visited a toilet alone unless they are all asleep in six years. Six years. Privacy in the shower? Again, only when they’re all asleep. Now that I’ve got a newborn, I’ve once again picked up the skill of nursing a baby while using the restroom.

No where in the house is sacred. We live in a very tiny space for five people. When we go to the park, it’s a chance for all of us to get some space.

I’m not complaining. I love being home with my kids, I love knowing all that they’re doing. I’m even going to homeschool my children! But when I read pieces judging me on what I’m doing with the thirty minutes I have to sit and have to myself while something else has their attention, I get irritated.

You have no idea of how little time I get to think during the day. I can’t even listen to the news on the radio anymore because of my children’s constant question asking in the car. Thirty minutes to regain some semblance of self isn’t too much to ask for, is it?

Thirty minutes to quickly catch up with a friend, thirty minutes to perhaps talk to my husband while he gets a break because I haven’t seen him much lately either, thirty minutes to finally get a chance to call the pediatrician to schedule their well checks without a child screaming in the background…

I could go on, but you get the idea. Mommy needs a break. Stop judging me when the thirty minutes of semi ignoring, yet always knowing exactly what they are doing on the playground because I’m paranoid they’ll somehow disappear, comes. The kids and I will be much happier during the rest of the afternoon if I’ve had a few minutes to myself.

Signed,

24/7 Mommy to Three Adorable Children

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It’s What’s on the Inside That Counts

  By Kristina | January 24, 2013 - 3:00 am | , , ,
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The old adage, “It’s what’s on the inside that counts,” rings true for what I’m about to share with you. It’s scary, frightening, and may be lurking in your house. Your children may have even played with it this evening. What am I talking about? Bath squirt toys. Did you know they can harbor disgusting black mold? Oh, yes it’s true. We cut up a few squirt toys and found this disgustingness lurking.

Poor mister turtle never saw it coming, but his sacrifice will hopefully show you what is taking a bath with your child:

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He was the worst toy that was cut open. A few others were much cleaner, but they were newer squirt toys. In theory, rinsing out with bleach could help prevent this issue, but its very hard to get every, single drop of water out of these toys because of the tiny holes. Bleach is also something I don’t recommend using on baby toys, I usually use more natural cleansers when it’s necessary to remove germs.

I didn’t have a bulb syringe (nose sucker) lying around, and frankly after seeing the turtle, I couldn’t stomach more gross mold, but they also harbor mold.

Curious to what yours look like? I am! Sacrifice a few bath toys or a bulb syringe (nose sucker) and share on JBP’s Facebook page! Lets see who has the worst squirt toy!

Why Won’t They Go to Sleep?

  By Kristina | January 14, 2013 - 12:30 pm | , , , ,
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Why don’t children ever want to go to sleep? I love sleep most of the time. I wish my children felt the same way. We are parents that don’t believe in shutting the door and letting them cry to sleep which some nights can mean long bed time routines.

Tonight number two did not want to go to sleep. I’m not sure why, but here I sit an hour later and she’s FINALLY asleep on my lap. Number one is easier. My husband lies down with him for a few minutes after books are read. They talk and do prayers. Then after a few min, he leaves and number one usually goes to sleep. Number two, sigh. We will get there one day! She’s only just now two, so it’ll come.

I think sleep routines can and probably should look different parent to parent. Why torture your child with screaming alone if they need mommy or daddy to sit or lie there until they can sleep? I think we get too tied up in what everyone else is doing, what a child should be song, etc. Do what is least stressful for your kiddo and you. They won’t need you to put them to bed soon enough, so take that extra time to snuggle, talk, kiss, hug, smell their sweet little kid smell before they smell like a stinky big kid and you dream of the days they were small enough to curl up on your lap.

My daughter was trying to hide under the bed to avoid bedtime…

Confessions of a TV Watching Mom

  By Kristina | December 27, 2012 - 6:18 am | , ,
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Before I became a parent, I taught at a really nice, private, Christian classical education based school. I taught science, not English, as you probably figured out from my sentence above. I really, really loved the thoughts of a classical education. Read books on it. Wrote curriculum based on it. Agreed that tv rotted the brain and that living books were the only way to go. Then I had a child.

At first, it was easy to keep him away from “evil” influences. I watched tv while he was nursing and tried to keep it off otherwise. But, it’s hard to hold a book while nursing and just sitting there doing nothing else drove me insane. And on other days, especially at first, babies are kind of boring. Sure, they keep you busy, but they eat, sleep and poop and that’s about all. So I’d watch tv to keep me sane from lack of sleep, lack of showering and lack of my usual daily human interaction.

When he got older, it got easier to avoid tv as we played with friends, went to MOPS and Bible studies. He really didn’t watch a lot of kid programs until he was over two years old and then it was very limited because we were living overseas that year and all we had were some DVDs. And I felt like I was a good mommy.

Fast forward to baby sister being born who never slept and by that point, he didn’t take naps anymore. I started checking out DVDs from the library that would keep him seated and not drive me insane watching them to keep him busy so I could sneak in a nap. And at this point I realized, ya know, it’s okay. Tv won’t kill my children. We have to pick and choose our battles and the whole concept of tv wasn’t one I was willing to fight over. In fact, anything allowing me to finally get some sleep was an awesome invention.

I do limit the scope of what they can watch. We don’t have cable so this isn’t too hard. I don’t allow Nick Jr DVDs because every show I’ve ever watched on that channel makes me want to bash my head into a wall. That goes for most of Disney as well. What do we check out or own? Lots of PBS shows, Popular Mechanics for Kids, National Geographic for Kids, British kid shows like Fireman Sam and Shaun the Sheep and for fun, Pixar movies. My son has learned a lot from the snippets I between Curious George episodes. He broke out the other day with what extinct meant to my mom while reading a book about dinosaurs.

I don’t make excuses anymore if or when my children watch tv. If I need them to be preoccupied so I can do xyz, I am not beyond putting on a show. Important phone call? Yep. Dinner making? Yep. And I confess, there are days lately as I’m pregnant with another one, where they have watched TV all. Day. Long. But, it’s either that or super cranky pregnant mom comes out which makes me feel worse than a day of TV.

So there ya go. Stop feeling guilty if you need to pop on the TV at times. There are good, educational shows for your children to watch so they’re not completely wasting brain cells and then you at least can discuss some concepts from what they just saw.

Toy Swap!

  By Kristina | October 24, 2012 - 4:13 am | ,
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There comes a time when if you trip over that toy one more time, you’re going to toss it in the trash. We’ve all be there. Is throwing it away the answer? Not always! Come join the ladies of My Consign and join us for a fun, mom’s only event on November 8 from 7-9 at Trinity Bible Church in Richardson!

Think of it as a white elephant toy exchange where you get to get rid of those annoying toy(s) and get to come home with some new toys to tide your children over until Christmas.

How will this even work? First, bundle up those toys! We are asking each mom to make up a bundle (or bundles) worth $10 if sold at a consignment sale. Each bundle “buys” the mom one ticket to get something new from the toys that other moms will bring. We will work it in a white elephant fashion, every mom will draw a number (or numbers if you bring more than one bundle) and we’ll all take turns picking out something new to us and eating some yummy cookies by Richardson’s newest cookie business, Bushel ‘n Peck.

If you don’t see anything you’d like for your children, you can always pick out something for a niece or nephew, etc. or donate the bundle at the end of the night to Network Ministries.

The event does have a small fee of $5 ($7 at the door) which covers rent and refreshments.

Join the event on Facebook so you can pay once the link is posted.

 

 

Are You in the Picture?

  By Kristina | October 22, 2012 - 6:48 am |
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I’m not a big, huge fan of the Huffington Post, but every once in awhile, there is an article that really catches my interest. Writer Allison Tate wrote an intriguing piece about how moms some times purposefully but sometimes forgetfully leave themselves out of photos.

I love this quote I read from Tate: “I am not perfect to look at and I am not perfect to love, but I am perfectly their mother.”

How many photos are you in with your children? Some day, when you’re gone, do you think they’re going to look at your cellulite or your bad hair day or your “mom” jeans and focus on how horrible you thought you looked that day or do you think they’ll look at those photos with fond memories and recall “Remember how right after that photo mom…” or “That was such a fun day! I loved it when…” 

I have to admit I have ducked out of photos because of one dumb reason or another, but not anymore! I’m going to try to be in more photos with my children because they won’t care how I looked, they’ll see how I loved.

Your challenge, get in more photos! Who cares what you look like. Your children don’t care!

*I had to go back to January to find a photo with me and one of my children! Sad! This other one is from July that my son snapped while we were waiting for daddy to get something from his office.

 

When to Call the Doctor

  By Kristina | October 17, 2012 - 7:00 am | , ,
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A recent conversation with a friend made me realize a lot of moms, especially first time ones, don’t know when something warrants a doctor’s visit and what can probably be dealt with at home.

*Disclaimer: this is not a comprehensive list. Some of these situations require emergency care. Information gleaned from Healthy Children which is a website of the American Pediatric Association. Please check out their website for a more comprehensive list.

Call the pediatrician when….

Diarrhea or vomiting: Anything that lasts more than 24 hrs, or involves a fever or blood in the stools. If you see signs of dehydration such as less diapers, dry mouth, tear-less crying call the doctor right away.

Fevers: Under 2 months, any fever warrants a call and emergency care if the doctor can’t be reached. Under 6 mos still need to call the pediatrician, but not as urgent. Older babies if the fever is above 102, longer than 24 hrs at that temperature, spikes, or isn’t responding to medication. Fever is a symptom that the body is fighting something, it’s not a sickness in and of itself.

Coughs and Colds: Coughs that have hung around for more than a week or is wheezy or productive. Runny noses that last more than 10 days or have blood streaked in the mucus.

Head injuries: Lack of consciousness, confusion, vomiting, paleness should all be looked at immediately.

Cuts, burns and bruises: Any cut or burn that is deep or and close to the face, groin area, head, chest, abdomen, or hands.  Bleeding that doesn’t stop with direct pressure. Cut that is draining, looks inflamed, smells bad.

Most of the time, the doctor will ask you to come in as it’s hard to diagnose over the phone. Use your parenting instinct and not paranoia. Most small cuts and briuses are okay. Low fevers in older babies are usually fine. Colds and coughs aren’t always dangerous. Because each child is unique, do think through what is going on to determine the best course of action for your child.

 

 

Take Your Parents to Lunch Day

  By Kristina | October 16, 2012 - 6:12 am | ,
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Tomorrow, October 17, is national Take Your Parents to Lunch Day. The idea is to go have lunch with your children in their school’s cafeteria to experience what lunch is like and to open the lines of communication between parents and schools to help better lunches.

 

This day is sponsored by Kiwi Magazine, School Nutrition Association, Stonyfield, and the Whole Kids Foundation.

Lunch Day participants are invited to enter YoKids’ My Lunch Tales Contest by sharing their favorite lunch story for the chance to win $2,500. Enter at mylunchtales.com.

Read more about this event here.

Baby Wearing

  By Kristina | October 8, 2012 - 5:02 am | , ,
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I didn’t do a whole lot of baby wearing when my son was little. I wasn’t very well informed at that time and used a Bjorn for awhile, but then he got too big for it and it hurt my back so out went baby wearing. I do,  however, remember reading a tiny blurb of an ad in Parents Magazine when my son was about 1 yr old about a really cool looking backpack carrier. I remember thinking, man if only I had known about that product a year ago! I wasn’t about to spend the $100 on it this late in the game.

Fast forward a few years. My daughter comes along and I’m faced with the dilemma of having two small children and still needing to do errands, etc. Because I am thrifty at heart, instead of buying a baby bucket car seat for her, we upgraded our son to a 5 pt harness booster and used the convertible he had been sitting in for the past two years for the new baby. Convertibles don’t go on errands as they stay buckled in the car. Now what?

I still had the Bjorn and I did use it for about a week or so with her legs in a froggy position inside until I did my research. I started poking around, joined a few baby wearing groups and discovered a world of baby wearing that had not been around 3.5 yrs prior. Jackpot! I quickly bought a Boba Sleepy Wrap (made from a soft, stretchy knit for children up to 35lbs) and when she out grew that, upgraded to a Boba 2g carrier.

Running errands was easy now! Pop baby in the carrier and my hands were free for my purse and holding the hand of my preschooler. I recommend these products to all of my clients and anyone who will listen! If you want to learn more about these great products, visit my site’s store, or contact me for an in-person demo.

Summer is Over but Water Safety Never Takes a Vacation

  By Kristina | September 10, 2012 - 4:57 am | , ,
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With the arrival of Labor Day and first days of school, the local public pools have closed and cover have been put on home pools. Well, maybe not quite yet in Texas, but soon! After watching and reading the news this summer, there were an awful lot of drownings and near drownings in Texas alone. Not sure of the numbers nor the numbers across the nation, but one is too many if you ask me!

So if the pools are closed, why am I writing about water safety again? Because it is still a danger even when pools are taken out of the picture. More children drown each year than are killed by hand guns in the home, yet home water safety isn’t stressed often.

What are some ways that water can be dangerous in your house?

1. Bath tubs – last one out needs to drain the bath! Never leave water standing in a bath tub when there are small children in a house.

2. Bath tubs (again) – do not ever leave a child unattended for even a second in a bath. Those bath seats cannot take the place of a responsible adult’s supervision. If the phone or doorbell rings, take your child with you. It only takes 30 second for a small child to drown.

3. Buckets – I subscribe to the Big Bad Bucket idea. Buckets and small children do not mix. Children are top heavy and can lean into a bucket of water, topple in and drown. If you have a child under 5 in the home, do not have a bucket of water around, ever. Use the sink as your “bucket” for mopping the floor.

4. Toilet Bowls – if your child is unusually interested in the toilet and likes to open the lid, get a lock.

5. Washing Machines – I read a story this summer about a child who was helping his mother do the laundry, she left the room for a few minutes while the basin was filling with water and her son on a chair. There wasn’t a pretty ending.

I don’t write all this to scare parents, but to make them aware that things happen. Accidents happen, but our children are our most prized possessions and it helps to be aware of hidden dangers that you may not think about. I never thought about the washing machine one until this summer. Now I always make sure the lid is down and the door is firmly shut behind me when I leave the laundry room. I don’t let my children help with the wash, they only help with the dryer.

For more information and my sourcing for some of these points, my favorite website and guy on water safety, Mario Vittone
.