My response to this letter http://4littlefergusons.wordpress.com/2012/11/14/dear-mom-on-the-iphone/
Dear Mom Judging me on the Playground,
I get your whole life is short, enjoy the kids, live in the moment bit. I really do. That’s why I chose to give up a job I LOVED to stay at home with my tiny tots. However, when you see me chatting with a friend, talking on my phone or messing with my phone (if I had a smart phone!), don’t be so quick to judge me.
I’ve spent most of the past 6 years with my children from sun up to sun down. Yes, occasionally they are cared for by someone else, a few hours, maybe once a week at most. Other then when they are sleeping I see their every waking moment.
My daughter running around like a crazy kid and twirling in one of her beloved tutus? Yes, I know she’s turning into a little girl and not so much a baby anymore. I’ve also seen her prance around in her tutu all morning. Make that all yesterday as well as she refused to take it off at bedtime. I also know exactly where her lovey is right now, where she set him so she could spin around and where she probably won’t remember to look when she realizes he’s missing.
My eldest, my little boy, who is such a funny kid, yes, we have played all morning together. I saw him slide down the stairs, like he’s not supposed to, this morning when he said watch me! I also have watched him do 1,000 other things legal and not this morning. All adorable in their own right. We also have discussed the weather, made up songs to the tune of “Jesus Loves Me” that he likes to sing as additional verses and I’ve praised him many times on his handwriting exercises and reading.
The baby, well, considering all she does is sleep most of the day still, she’s enjoying her time being snuggled up in her stretchy wrap next to me as usual. I can’t tell you the last time she let me put her down or hand her over to daddy for a few minutes.
Yes, I know play time at the park will be over soon, and I should soak up every moment, but once I call time to go home, I’m back to constantly being on the clock without a break until they go to sleep once more.
Speaking of sleep and spending time with my darlings, did you know that last night I was up most of the night with my toddler who had a nightmare? She wouldn’t go back to sleep in her bed so she came into ours. Considering the fact that the baby is plastered to me constantly meant I got no sleep last night for fear that I’d smoosh one of them? Four in a bed is a tight fit.
Did you know that for the past few days my husband was working pretty much all day, so I was without the help I usually get during the late afternoons and evening? I know single parents do this constantly…not sure how they do it, its been rough! The rare times he is busy, he’s super busy and some days barely gets to see the kids awake. Those days are hard. Those days I get no break.
I haven’t visited a toilet alone unless they are all asleep in six years. Six years. Privacy in the shower? Again, only when they’re all asleep. Now that I’ve got a newborn, I’ve once again picked up the skill of nursing a baby while using the restroom.
No where in the house is sacred. We live in a very tiny space for five people. When we go to the park, it’s a chance for all of us to get some space.
I’m not complaining. I love being home with my kids, I love knowing all that they’re doing. I’m even going to homeschool my children! But when I read pieces judging me on what I’m doing with the thirty minutes I have to sit and have to myself while something else has their attention, I get irritated.
You have no idea of how little time I get to think during the day. I can’t even listen to the news on the radio anymore because of my children’s constant question asking in the car. Thirty minutes to regain some semblance of self isn’t too much to ask for, is it?
Thirty minutes to quickly catch up with a friend, thirty minutes to perhaps talk to my husband while he gets a break because I haven’t seen him much lately either, thirty minutes to finally get a chance to call the pediatrician to schedule their well checks without a child screaming in the background…
I could go on, but you get the idea. Mommy needs a break. Stop judging me when the thirty minutes of semi ignoring, yet always knowing exactly what they are doing on the playground because I’m paranoid they’ll somehow disappear, comes. The kids and I will be much happier during the rest of the afternoon if I’ve had a few minutes to myself.
24/7 Mommy to Three Adorable Children